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Dremerie recites:
"AH, dragon's!
Can only be
CYAR!"
>Cyar grins.
>Cyar stands up.
>Cyar removes a courtly full-length cloak from his shoulders.
>Cyar offers Nigellah a courtly full-length cloak.
>Cyar gives Nigellah a lingering kiss on the wrist.
Cyar winks.
>Cyar goes down a walkway.
(Not prepared?)
>The backstage curtains part slightly, and Cyar steps out onto the stage. A glimpse of the shadowy backstage is briefly visible before the curtains close behind him.
Cyar grins.
Cyar says, "Hail all."
You see Lord Cyar AtlasVod the Reveler.
He appears to be a Half-Elf.
He is very tall and appears to be in the spring of life. He has gold-flecked deep ocean blue eyes and bronze skin. He has very long, tied back blue-black hair swept back from the temples. He has an angular face and broad shoulders.
He has a trio of amethyst spikes in his left eyebrow, a blue quarter note tattoo on his finger, a tattooed symbol of Jastev on his arm, a quill pen tattoo on his finger, and a silver crescent moon tattoo within a blazing golden sun on his neck.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a well-tailored deep black silk shirt, some black silk trousers, a silvery Jastev sash, some tall veniom-buckled boots, a gold-inlaid modwir lute case slung over his shoulder, and a diamond and silver wedding band.
Cyar says, "Well i had a good speech for you all."
(Capitalization? Not a good first impression.)
>Cyar asks, "But hell youve been to a tavern?"
(Grammar?)
>Cyar flashes a wide grin.
>Cyar says, "Ok."
(Audience commentary appears to be available for this
performance.)
Cyar just opened a gold-inlaid modwir lute case.
>Cyar removes a silvery haon-inlaid lute from in his modwir lute case.
>Cyar heartily states, "This is a simple tavern song."
>Cyar carefully checks the strings of his lute, plucking them lightly and adjusting the tension until the sound is perfectly pitched.
>Cyar clears his throat.
>With a twinkle in his eye, Cyar begins a jaunty melody on his lute.
(Use of the instrument scripts.)
Cyar smiles softly.
>Cyar sings:
"A time would know a mercenary
The wind his bolts would often carry."
>Cyar sings:
"Coin he'd take for any job
To help some lord against some mob."
(Looks like flat heroic couplets, no measured beat.)
Cyar begins building a complex, upbeat melody in a major key, his fingers lightly springing over the strings.
Cyar sings:
"He thought himself a simple man
With simple needs and a simple plan."
Cyar sings:
"His needs not many, less then few
Some hearty fare and a tasty brew."
>Making the beat of the song even more infectious, Cyar sharply thumps the belly of his lute in time with the music.
Cyar sings:
"He always wore some ale-stained leathers
And a brown cap with two red feathers."
>Cyar sings:
"An oak-bound crossbow he also bore.
A gold crossed ring he always wore."
Putting a variation in his strum, Cyar runs through the verse and into a catchy chorus that will stick in your head for days.
Cyar sings:
"His reputation was an absolute.
He killed any target he was paid to shoot."
Cyar sings:
"A local tavern found him each night.
Not really hiding but not in plain sight."
Adroitly, Cyar slides his hand up the neck of the lute and continues playing, raising the song a full two octaves for a verse before dropping back down to the normal range.
Cyar sings:
"They called him Finger, for his shots were clear.
He drank alone, thoughts lost in his beer."
Cyar sings:
"The gold-croseed ring was his greatest prize.
His mother did give him before her demise."
(Spelling.. 'crossed')
Cyar slides his fingers up the neck of his lute, taking the song higher and building towards a level of intensity not previously reached.
>Cyar sings:
"As he thought of her, he slowly smiled
Of how she loved her only child."
Cyar sings:
"His mother was a dairy maid.
After her work they'd run to a glade."
With nimble fingers, Cyar adds a contrasting countermelody to his song, skillfully creating a dramatic effect.
>Cyar sings:
"Games they played and tales she'd tell.
His father's stories she told quite well."
Cyar sings:
"She'd tell him his father's eyes held steel"
But she always knew his love was real."
>Cyar plucks his instrument's lower strings, adding a driving bass foundation to the melody.
>Cyar sings:
"He tarried that summer around the farm
And often they fell, embraced arm in arm."
Cyar sings:
"He told her of battles in great detail
And he'd brag about how he would always prevail."
With great proficiency, Cyar further complicates the melody, making it ever more elaborate until it is nearly lost in decorative notes.
Cyar sings:
"She said he left in early fall.
Never to be seen, never at all."
Cyar sings:
"One more thing he gave me, besides you, my love
Was this gold crossed ring he wore under his glove."
>Cyar makes the simplest of strains as complex as is possible, coloring it with harmonies and chord variations.
Cyar sings:
"A pox did take her early one spring.
The ring she gave him was her last thing."
>Cyar sings:
"Finger leaned back upon his chair
Still remembering his mother's fair hair."
(What happened to this being a simple tavern song?)
Cyar plucks his instrument's lower strings, adding a driving bass foundation to the melody.
>Cyar sings:
"Disturbed, he was, by a guard with sword
Who stated, "You are summoned by my lord!"
Cyar sings:
"Finger's head nodded, not wanting a hassle.
Perhaps a new job defending a castle."
Cyar plucks his instrument's lower strings, adding a driving bass foundation to the melody.
>Cyar sings:
"Finger met the lord in a gray tower.
He spoke like all lords wanting more power."
Cyar sings:
"The Lord showed him a box full of gold.
"To earn this, merc, just do what your told"."
>Cyar's brisk melody runs headlong through the measures like a hunt in full swing, breathless in its inexorable pace.
>Cyar sings:
"A great knight in black slays all my best!
For this gold, merc, just rid me this pest."
Cyar sings:
"Finger had never seen so much coin!
Thoughts of great Houses he could now join!"
>Cyar strums across the strings of his lute for emphasis, then continues the rapid and dexterous
fingerpicking.
Cyar sings:
"For that price, Lord, I'll use my skill"
"Just tell when and where to kill"."
>Cyar sings:
"Here on the morrow the battle will be"
"And merc, be sure the knight does not flee"."
>Paying studious attention to his lute's strings, Cyar begins layering major seventh chords as a foundation to a song of inspiration.
Cyar sings:
"Finger turned and left the lords sight.
And thought about the upcoming fight."
(..lords should be "lord's")
Cyar sings:
"Outside the tower he ran in a rush,
Looking for some dark covered brush."
Cyar reaches up with a skilled hand to strike the strings of his lute, creating ringing notes to accompany the driving bass melody.
Cyar sings:
"Throughout the night he lightly dozed,
But when the battle ensued he was already posed."
>Cyar sings:
"His crossbow was cocked, armed at the ready.
His infamous finger was calm and steady."
Cyar bridges his song into a new key, taking it to new heights of intensity.
Cyar sings:
"Almost at once he spotted a roan,
And the knight on it's back appeared alone."
(..it's should be "its")
Cyar sings:
"His target was closer than he had thought.
Any gap in the armor he instinctively sought."
>Cyar takes his melody into the lower ranges, adding further power to the intense spell the shining strings are weaving.
>Cyar sings:
"As he looked at the knight his mind was possessed
For he saw the insignia etched on his chest!"
>Cyar sings:
"A simple gold cross, the image did linger
He glanced at the ring he wore on his finger."
Cyar begins a slow crescendo, plucking each string harder while adroitly maintaining the drive of the song and the energetic pace.
Cyar sings:
"He started to stand, and was ready to hail
This was surely the man from his mother's tale!"
Cyar sings:
"But the knight was in danger, a foe was approaching
The knights back was blind to the danger encroaching!"
(..knights should be "knight's")
The song modulates into a higher key, Cyar demonstrating his skillful fingerwork as he makes the transition.
>Cyar sings:
"He often thought of that fateful day
That changed his life in every way."
Cyar sings:
"For that day he became his father's shield
And they embraced first upon that field."
>Cyar's harmony dances about the melody, intertwining about it with pure, shining notes.
>Cyar sings:
"Together they bought a dairy farm
And spoke many nights of his mother's charm."
>With a final joyous flourish Cyar stills his fingers on the lute, allowing the final bright chord to fade into silence.
>Cyar smiles happily
>Cyar bows.
Final comments: Not bad for a young bard, but
certainly lacks on many of the points needed for performance level pieces.
Heroic couplets are a good standard, but some variation in the rhyme scheme and
some measured beats to the lines would help technical merit. Using the standard
instrument scripts could be boosted by adding some acts, and movement around the
stage. This piece lacked one of the key words completely (honor), and utilized
the other in a rather distracting manner by calling the character
"Finger" even though there were a couple already scattered in his
verses. For a 'tavern song' it lost it's appeal as one halfway through the
verses, and simply became a rhymed story. I hope to see more potential here in
the future.
Result: Unplaced, received "Newest
Voice" award - a beautiful dragon harp.
Notes: member of Aspis
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