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>Dremerie recites:

"Such a fluffy paper!

LORD TOLWYNN!"

>You see Lord Tolwynn Verethundi the Fortune Seeker.
He appears to be a Human from Seareach.
He is tall and appears to be young. He has tempestuous grey-green eyes and evenly bronzed skin. He has waist-length, thick jet black hair pulled back into a kelyn-bound braid. He has a chiseled angular face and slightly upswept ears.
He has an Ashrim war frigate tattoo on his chest, a sailing ship tattoo on his chest, and a crossed wands tattoo on his chest.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a crystal amulet, a lustrous rose gold Ivas symbol, a high-collared midnight black longcoat with a double row of emerald-set tarnished silver buttons, a gilded black glaes armband, some leather gloves with steel-tipped fingers, a burnished ebony cittern case inlaid with a tessellated pattern of wisp-etched black steel and platinum slung over his shoulder, some silvered black steel bracers, a platinum wedding band, some tailored black linen trousers fastened with a double row of brilliant platinum buttons, and a pair of black leather shoes.

(much applause)

Tolwynn goes down a walkway.

l[Den of the Dragon]
Some open curtains of heavy, dark green velvet drape the vast stage, and argent tenting protects it and the closest pews from the elements without ruining the view of the rest of the audience. Globes of ethereal, magical lights hang overhead, beaming their glows in strategic directions controlled by a series of overhead ropes and pulleys that disappear behind the dark, backstage curtains. A walkway leads up and out, and a podium stands to the right of the stage. You also see the Mikhyzabela disk.
Also here: Vanimelde who is sitting, Sir Cryheart who is sitting, Raziya who is sitting, Lady Elasuna who is sitting, Tamura who is sitting, Myrkate who is sitting, Aurien, Debia who is sitting, Evarin, Jersea who is sitting, Sereh who is sitting, Calna who is sitting, Jathan who is sitting, Lady Mikhyzabela who is sitting, Lord Hapilot who is sitting, Arch Steward Nyxandria who is sitting, Dremerie, Mystra who is sitting, Dagor who is sitting, Lord Meshach who is sitting, Lord Elidath who is sitting, Thia who is sitting, Ahmeuseng who is sitting, Metadi who is sitting, Avareen, Rastavan who is sitting, Hadya who is sitting, Lady Orenda who is sitting, Lady Valysse who is sitting, Kynseiyn who is sitting, High Lord Strydyr who is sitting, Telsas who is sitting, Great Lady Asenora who is sitting, Nilandia who is sitting, Great Lady Traiva who is sitting, Kretan who is sitting, Laakshmi who is sitting, Vishka who is sitting, Aranrhod who is sitting, Alifair who is sitting, Breum who is sitting, Aydan who is sitting, Lady Nigellah who is sitting, Lord Cyar who is sitting, Kayse who is kneeling, Tamaki who is sitting, Thrynna who is sitting, Lord Primum who is sitting, Great Lady Shadoedove who is sitting, Lady Landrai who is sitting, Perigourd who is sitting, Missoni who is sitting, Sir Morgiest who is sitting, Freywith who is sitting
Obvious exits: none

(several minutes of waiting)

The backstage curtains part slightly, and Tolwynn steps out onto the stage. A glimpse of the shadowy backstage is briefly visible before the curtains close behind him.

(people shuffle about)

>(Tolwynn takes the stage and waves to the audience, every motion highlighted by the faint metallic sheen of his clothing, glistening with reflected light)

Tolwynn removes a deep indigo thanot cittern trimmed with storm grey vaalin fittings and keys from in his blue case.

(Tolwynn gestures broadly, and one by one, the stage lights dim and then wink out, leaving him standing stage center within a pillar of stark white light.)

(ohh, tricksy)

>Tolwynn suddenly stumbles for no apparent reason.

>(Tolwynn pauses momentarily, brushing his free hand across his forehead as he nearly lowers his cittern to the stage. He casts his eyes outward and over you, a look of obvious dismay upon his face. He pauses again to steady himself, clenching the neck of his cittern tightly. His breath begins to rush and he gulps for air, his chest heaving in response.)

(Tolwynn yawns his mouth wide, his neck pulled taut as he issues a series of staggered staccato clicks. Frustration washes over his features, and he tries again, clicking faster now as he whines beneath, building both until they swell together into a shrill and piercing keen.)

(Images of The Predator flash in my head. This just seems weird and abnormal to me!)

>Tolwynn closes his eyes in concentration for a moment. When he opens them again, a flickering red glow fills them briefly before fading.

(How does he make his eyes glow? If he had a prop, sure.. but huh??)

>Tolwynn haltingly says, "Thhh - Th- The world begins with song, and the song is the most important thing in the world."

>Tolwynn distantly says, "This was an almost impossible thing, this evening, that I- we would even be here. This one before you touched our pattern, and then... the song. He sang a song so long forgotten, and so very much too late. He gives I- us- the v'reen voice tonight in both senses of your word."

(I'm assuming he's pretending to be possessed now.)

>Tolwynn says, "It seems so distant now, those five years ago when all to everyone were lost."

>Tolwynn says, "The song is the pattern and the pattern the song. I -we will pattern this one. It is patterned thusly, as 'Echo.'."

(minor punctuation issues, 'we' and 'Echo'.)

>(Tolwynn holds the cittern at an odd cant, seemingly ready to slip from his grasp as he runs his fingertips slowly over the length of the glistening metal strings. His eyes fall closed and he bows low in reverence as he begins.)

(His preliminary was about the v'reen too.)

Tolwynn sings staccato:

"We came here not by choice back then to land upon your world.
A song so false it beckoned us, and we through portal hurled.
Alone we were, and so bereft, from home and kindred lost,
A pawn in game of scheming mage, that all would dearly cost."

(heroic couplets, with 14 beats per line)

(Tolwynn strums his cittern roughly, each motion noticeably stilted as he plays a loose progression of notes. They provide counterpoint to the low and plaintive keening he calls forth between verses.)

>Tolwynn sings:

"Mere months before had others come from oh, so far away.
They won your welcome, we your scorn, apart as night and day.
You demonized us, lit'rally, perhaps it's not a shock
For we, unlike the aelotoi, weren't lissome breeding stock."

(lost the sing tones, apparently)

>(Tolwynn begins to play with a slowly rolling pace, range of motion returning to his limbs as if they had just recently thawed. He coaxes a reverberating hum from the cittern's strings, mirroring it with a low drone of his own.)

Tolwynn sings:

"We tried to somehow speak with you, somehow communicate.
Each song was met with sword and spell, each plea rebuffed with hate.
We sought our place in this new world, and wished for nothing more.
We fought but for survival, it was you who made it war."

>(Tolwynn's fingers glide along the strings of steel and brass as he plays, calling forth a faint keening that echoes below the music.)

>Tolwynn sings:

"In dark of night, from lair they swept to fuel their darkened feast.
In silence did they cull your herd, each slain as aught but beast.
What comes then of dhe'nar'ii boasts of halfling roasts and stew?
Shall you slake deep, in vengeance seek their heads on platters too?"

(Dhe'nari is spelled wrong. The halfling thing is a bit offensively cliche, though. )

>(Tolwynn plays a descending series and then clasps his hand over the strings midcourse, pitching them into silence. His voice falls low, descending into a sibilant hiss that lingers on the edge of your hearing. He picks lightly now, the quieted music tumbling along with the verse.)

(Wait! Your hearing? Who said I didn't hear it loud and clear, or someone in the audience did? Bad form to assume what I or anyone in the audience does and does not see/do/hear/feel/etc.)

>Tolwynn sings softly:

"From 'neath the ground they slithered forth, concealed by shroud of night.
Your children did they steal away, for terror to incite.
I speak of those of Luukos' clade, that strove for Griffin Sword.
They walk among you to this day, atrocities ignored. "

(Sing tones have returned. Clade is a bit OOG, being an term used in scientific evolution studies. Not all of those after the Griffin Sword were Luukos followers, but that can slide for poetic licence. An extra space at the end.)

>(Tolwynn chokes the neck of the cittern tightly, letting it fall to one side as he stabs an accusing finger at the audience. His voice is louder and insistent now, driven sharply by mounting ire.)

>Tolwynn sings:

"So quick to point your fingers, for that done among your own.
Why did we pay the butcher's bill while they are left alone?
We are not so much less than you, we think, we write, we sing.
Had you but stopped to notice such, but ah, that's just the thing."

(Sing tones gone again.)

(Tolwynn starts his slow playing once more, his keening louder and insistent now, its eerie rhythm woven throughout his words.)

Tolwynn sings:

"Much simpler, yes, to just not think, to rule of mob quick cleave.
To give oneself to 'llegiance blind, or flimsy tale believe.
How int'resting a Faen'dryl showed just when things reached their worst.
Their demons loosed in Illistim? Perhaps they weren't the first. "

(Lost sing tone again. Too many commas in first line, but will let it go. Not sure what the apostrophe in Faendryl is for. Extra space at the end.)

>(Tolwynn keens softly, calling forth a spell of haste. He moves with unnatural speed and fluidity alike, his hands melting into glistening blurs that wrench a piercing howl from the cittern's tortured strings.)

(An interesting use of an 'acted' spell, personally I don't like the fakeness of it but others might find it appealing.)

>Tolwynn sings mournfully:

"You glad became invaders then, hewed deep into our home.
We'd pulled so far away from most, apart from you did roam.
But that was not enough for you, so caught with lust for death.
Our children were in legion slain, our Queen drew her last breath."

(Sing tone is back. "You glad became" should be "gladly" for proper grammar I would think, but I'm assuming it was done to fit the beats per line. Same with "apart from you did", which should be "apart from us", or simply "apart you did".. but neither fit the beat pattern, so it looks a little hacked.)

Tolwynn smiles coldly as he fixes his burning gaze upon you, launching into a driving rhythm that matches the fervor of his song. His hands sweep sharply across the strings, his playing and his voice alike brought strong enough to resound clearly throughout the hall.

(Upon YOU! I really hate when people do that. With nearly a hundred people in the room, how does he do that to each of us individually!)

>Tolwynn sings thunderously:

"You that speak so high of honor? Then where was it that night?
Was glory true afforded as our children you did fight?
Did you think yourself as heroes, within that final stand?
Butchers all, and puppets too, that danced well for Faen'dryl hand."

(Sing tone returns! Faendryl again, with the apostrophe for no reason.)

(Tolwynn works his hands with blinding speed as they fly down and across the courses of strings, their layered resonances swelling into a tormented keening. Then at once, his hands fall motionless, and with seamless transition he takes up the keen with his borrowed voice, its sound expanding into an echoing shrill. )

(Resonance is not pluralized, being a musical term. Uh, 'borrowed' voice? Is this still an act, or will there be flying around the room next? I'm beginning to find this performance a bit hard to swallow, clearly.)

>Tolwynn sings:

"Then vaunted savior Pheyrmerrin, saved cruelest joke of all,
On whim he kept one young alive, within ensorcelled ball.
How would then you mothers feel, if it were your girl or boy?
Then tortured for amusement as a twisted child's toy?"

(Tolwynn slashes at the strings of the cittern a final time, that last chord ringing out sharply before dying quickly away. He cants forward, tensed, as if readying for an attack but stands there instead, lowering his head for a long-held moment. Finally, he regards you anew, nodding slowly as he gazes upon you, his eyes afire with a baleful crimson blaze.)

(Use of YOU again, twice! The room has around 100 people. There is NO possible way to focus on each of us individually. His eyes afire, baleful, crimson and blazing... wow?! How many more times can someone say their eyes are RED! OooOOo! I think this performer has officially lost grip on performance reality here.)

Tolwynn recites contemptuously:

"You branded us as monsters all, and p'r'aps it was quite true
Our talent best, as you full learned..."

>Tolwynn snorts.

>Tolwynn says, "Well, we imitated you."

(Ok, so does Tolwynn think he can become possessed or that he's really a v'reen in disguise? Hm, we'll never know. Interesting ending, none the less.)

>Tolwynn turns around.

>(Tolwynn sweeps his arm outward and the pillar of light is extinguished in response, leaving him awash in darkness.)

Tolwynn arrives from stage left.

>Tolwynn walks over to the pews and settles down.

(Final comments: Overall, the piece had good rhyme and meter. 14 beats isn't necessarily easy, but something fresher than heroic couplets would have been nice to see. The topic words were barely there, and were certainly not the subject of the piece. Points off for use of "YOU" in an act, with an audience. The "v'reen" acts were out of genre, since making yourself be able to click like that, or make your eyes glow in scary red light is not possible and a bit unbelievable. The "borrowed" voice bit was over the top, regarding what someone should be able to do. The piece was a bit fast to follow with the longer stanzas and could be slowed down a couple of seconds each as well as the acts. I want to be able to read them with enough time to let the words sink in. There were minor grammatical and spacing errors that were overlooked, but also a performer should be careful not to offend the audience. The Dhe'nar comment was offensive and cliché and would have been better off avoided, or using a non pc race.)

Result: Won 1st place!
Notes: Aspis officer, husband to Landrai - also an Aspis member and finalist.